Cheaper by the Dozen 2

Who's in It: Steve Martin, Bonnie Hunt, Eugene Levy, Carmen Electra, Piper Perabo, Hilary Duff, Tom Welling, Jamie King

The Basics: The adorable, 14-strong, population-control–nightmare family known as the Bakers goes on vacation and meets an even more disturbing family of 10. That's when the competition to see which brood will take home the trophy for Best Eugenics Experiment is on.

What's the Deal? It's a holiday product created for consumption at precisely this moment, scheduled for a release date opposite grown-up, Academy Award–sucking product and test-marketed to appeal to kids who will then pester their adults to be taken during their winter break from school. Hollywood, 1. You, 0.

Some Tips: Hey, grown-ups, if you draw the short straw and have to pretend to be an interested chaperone, here's how you can pass the time while the on-screen antics get more and more tiresome.

1. Count the number of times people fall down and divide by your ticket price.
2. Calculate the real-life shoe budget for each child over an 18-year span and multiply that by 12.
3. Think about Carmen Electra and what her marriage to Dave Navarro must be like when no one else is around.

The Real Competition: Twenty kids in movie = two more than Yours, Mine and Ours, a rival studio's attempt at what is becoming a bizarre subgenre of Aspire-to-Extreme-Fertility-and-Prosperity porn.

Who's Actually Cool in This: Electra. And not because she's hot. She seems to have an inherent understanding of ridiculousness, is all.