Hoodwinked

Who's in It: The voices of Glenn Close, Anne Hathaway, Jim Belushi, Patrick Warburton, Anthony Anderson, David Ogden Stiers, Xzibit, Chazz Palminteri, Andy Dick

The Basics: It's a shoddy, computer-animated, Shrek-impersonating hack-job in which the story of Little Red Riding Hood is dismembered and made "hip" with lots of self-aware, smug pop-culture references. Because everyone knows how much kids love irony.

What's the Deal? Every character — the wolf, Red, Granny, the lumberjack — gets to chime in on what really went down that day in the woods. And the big modern twist is that they've all got some kind of angle and no one is who they really appear to be. So kids can come away from it with the knowledge that it's unsafe to trust what anyone says, ever. The other lesson of this Little Red Rashomon Hood disaster is that everything that's a cartoon can't be as cool as Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Apparent Budget Outlay to Make It All Look as Good as It Does: 35 cents.

Whose Intelligence It Will Insult: Children, adults, wolves, grandmothers, people who like things to be funny, the unborn …

Next Week, When This Movie Shows Up on DVD: Just rent My Neighbor Totoro instead.